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*****Sarah writes*****
I don’t know about you but I love getting together with my friends to sew. In February I spent some time with some gems and loved sharing a sewing space with them. It is interesting how I suddenly get pernickety when it comes to my personal sewing space at home and who is allowed to cross the threshold.
Mark is now home for the next couple of months having spent the last 4 months in California dealing with his tax season. I have to admit, I really liked being foot lose and fancy-free, not that I didn’t miss him but it made being in my sewing room a lot easier. Mark is now home and he is coveting my space and my time. lol. Oh my God…….” seriously, dude, do you even see me at my machine…?” So I stop what I am doing, engage in conversation, trying to sympathize that it's been awhile since he has been home but it is not that we didn’t FaceTime every day. And Mark goes back to his space, his office and I’m thinking I can go back to what I was doing. I do love and like the guy but he has no clue as to the boundaries of when I am sewing. Sometimes I think he may think that I’m lonely in my sewing room so he needs to keep me company but I like sewing by myself.
Here is an official transcript of what happened yesterday (Wednesday) within 90 minutes
I’m sewing, my machine is humming along. Mark comes into my sewing room
Mark: do we have any batteries.
Machine stops.
Me: top shelve in the second bathroom closet.
Mind you, he purchased the batteries and put them in the closet himself.
Machine resumes
Mark comes back
Mark: Are we having lunch?
Me: I really don’t eat lunch - I have to take Oprah out, give her some lunch and I was hoping to finish this seam so I can finish this quilt so I can stop thinking about it and move on to other things that I have been thinking about.
Mark: Do you want something for lunch?
Totally ignores what I just said. lol
Me: No thank you.
Back from taking Oprah for her walk and I’ve managed to get one seam sewed within the time frame of 10-11:45 am
I am back in my sewing room. My machine is back on and I proceed accordingly. Prior to that I take a peep in on Mark and see him at his computer working. I feel like I’m looking in at Sophie when she was a baby and making sure she was still sleeping so I could take a quick shower or get some laundry done.
I’m sewing and guess who is back….Mark. This time I gently put my head against my machine in hopes he will understand my frustration but he thinks its part of the sewing process.
Mark: “I need to get some shopping done. Seems I have forgotten some stuff in California.”
By this time I am quickly reviewing every Snapped episode I have watched on TV where wives kill of their spouses and try to get away with it. I would get an acquittal because this murder would have nothing to do with insurance money and a justified lapse of sanity. But such a murder would not take place in the sewing room for reasons everyone would understand. lol This scenario takes place most of the time when my family is home and I’m sewing. When Mark is in his office and he is at work with his 3 computer windows up and running - that is sacred territory but when I am sewing, it doesn’t quite constitute the same consideration.
I understand the “thinking” but I don’t condone it and I don’t even like using the word “understand” because you can then rationalize the behaviour. Having been a “stay at home” mom never garnered the respect that someone earning a paycheck did. Its the underpinnings of the paycheck that basically governs the mentality of worth. For example, all the time and creativity mastered in a quilt does not equate to all the time that a someone puts into delivering the mail - Why….well “show me the money” so to speak. And don’t get me started when people condone the paychecks of doctors, lawyers or vets and compare those paychecks to first responders, nurses, teachers and day care providers and their paychecks.
Mark has always supported my quilting and creativity. He has never questioned my purchases or when I want to go to retreats or visit my friends. I do realize that deep, deep, deep, deep down in Mark’s mindset, he would prefer that I sell what I make only so I can join that “workforce.” Though he would never admit it to me if he wants to continue having sex. lol.
When people ask me what I do with my time since I don’t work, it makes me laugh, especially when I tell them I sew and make stuff. And now I answer the question with “ what I do is I live and enjoy my life” because now my time becomes a quantitate issue and not a qualitative issue because there isn’t a paycheck defining my self-worth. Quite frankly, I have way too much self-worth and self-esteem to be judged within that context and thankfully I don’t allow other people to even begin to discredit what I do or what I have done with my life.
Show and Tell Monday - April 30 Tell us how you engage in the process of sewing. Do you like having people in your space or are you like me where you can have friends around but something shifts when you are in your own space. Are you more comfortable sewing by yourself or do you do better and accomplish more on retreats with people around. Have you ever been subject to people judging what you do - creating- that sewing or quilting is nothing more than a “hobby” because it lacks a monetary consequence?
Mark is now home for the next couple of months having spent the last 4 months in California dealing with his tax season. I have to admit, I really liked being foot lose and fancy-free, not that I didn’t miss him but it made being in my sewing room a lot easier. Mark is now home and he is coveting my space and my time. lol. Oh my God…….” seriously, dude, do you even see me at my machine…?” So I stop what I am doing, engage in conversation, trying to sympathize that it's been awhile since he has been home but it is not that we didn’t FaceTime every day. And Mark goes back to his space, his office and I’m thinking I can go back to what I was doing. I do love and like the guy but he has no clue as to the boundaries of when I am sewing. Sometimes I think he may think that I’m lonely in my sewing room so he needs to keep me company but I like sewing by myself.
Here is an official transcript of what happened yesterday (Wednesday) within 90 minutes
I’m sewing, my machine is humming along. Mark comes into my sewing room
Mark: do we have any batteries.
Machine stops.
Me: top shelve in the second bathroom closet.
Mind you, he purchased the batteries and put them in the closet himself.
Machine resumes
Mark comes back
Mark: Are we having lunch?
Me: I really don’t eat lunch - I have to take Oprah out, give her some lunch and I was hoping to finish this seam so I can finish this quilt so I can stop thinking about it and move on to other things that I have been thinking about.
Mark: Do you want something for lunch?
Totally ignores what I just said. lol
Me: No thank you.
Back from taking Oprah for her walk and I’ve managed to get one seam sewed within the time frame of 10-11:45 am
I am back in my sewing room. My machine is back on and I proceed accordingly. Prior to that I take a peep in on Mark and see him at his computer working. I feel like I’m looking in at Sophie when she was a baby and making sure she was still sleeping so I could take a quick shower or get some laundry done.
I’m sewing and guess who is back….Mark. This time I gently put my head against my machine in hopes he will understand my frustration but he thinks its part of the sewing process.
Mark: “I need to get some shopping done. Seems I have forgotten some stuff in California.”
By this time I am quickly reviewing every Snapped episode I have watched on TV where wives kill of their spouses and try to get away with it. I would get an acquittal because this murder would have nothing to do with insurance money and a justified lapse of sanity. But such a murder would not take place in the sewing room for reasons everyone would understand. lol This scenario takes place most of the time when my family is home and I’m sewing. When Mark is in his office and he is at work with his 3 computer windows up and running - that is sacred territory but when I am sewing, it doesn’t quite constitute the same consideration.
I understand the “thinking” but I don’t condone it and I don’t even like using the word “understand” because you can then rationalize the behaviour. Having been a “stay at home” mom never garnered the respect that someone earning a paycheck did. Its the underpinnings of the paycheck that basically governs the mentality of worth. For example, all the time and creativity mastered in a quilt does not equate to all the time that a someone puts into delivering the mail - Why….well “show me the money” so to speak. And don’t get me started when people condone the paychecks of doctors, lawyers or vets and compare those paychecks to first responders, nurses, teachers and day care providers and their paychecks.
Mark has always supported my quilting and creativity. He has never questioned my purchases or when I want to go to retreats or visit my friends. I do realize that deep, deep, deep, deep down in Mark’s mindset, he would prefer that I sell what I make only so I can join that “workforce.” Though he would never admit it to me if he wants to continue having sex. lol.
When people ask me what I do with my time since I don’t work, it makes me laugh, especially when I tell them I sew and make stuff. And now I answer the question with “ what I do is I live and enjoy my life” because now my time becomes a quantitate issue and not a qualitative issue because there isn’t a paycheck defining my self-worth. Quite frankly, I have way too much self-worth and self-esteem to be judged within that context and thankfully I don’t allow other people to even begin to discredit what I do or what I have done with my life.
Show and Tell Monday - April 30 Tell us how you engage in the process of sewing. Do you like having people in your space or are you like me where you can have friends around but something shifts when you are in your own space. Are you more comfortable sewing by yourself or do you do better and accomplish more on retreats with people around. Have you ever been subject to people judging what you do - creating- that sewing or quilting is nothing more than a “hobby” because it lacks a monetary consequence?
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I can't wait to see your responses
"till then
Happy Quilting and Crafting ") N
